A New Beginning Part 2

Hard to blog when I haven't started back to work yet.  Jury duty tomorrow, lots to blog about after that I am sure.    The boyfriend moves in tonight.  I believe this will work out.  Funny how something I used to never have faith in, I all of a sudden do.  Love, so many times I thought I was in it and that it was the best thing on earth, only to find out how blind I was.  

This year is going to be full of changes.  The weight loss surgery in March or April.  The boyfriend moving in. I am looking forward to experiencing 2013.  Let the week begin!!!

A New Beginning

Happy New Year!!!  2013 has got to be better than 2012, yet I already find myself in a dilemma. The man that I love has retreated yet again into his own world and I guess I have to walk away.  Strike three means it's time to move on and this is the third time he has done this.  I hate that.  You find someone you trust, that makes you laugh, that knows your quirks and accepts them but by the time you find him he is already damaged by some other woman who mistreated him.  I promised myself I wouldn't lower my standards.  I would find a man that would treat me like his queen.  This guy isn't it.  Not in his current state of mind.  Well.... love and let go right?

It Occurred to me

It occurred to me that this is battle of the wills... You aren't going to give and neither am I.  I have found a workaround, this blog.  I can say whatever I want without actually sending anything to you.  We are both very stubborn people so this will be interesting to see who wins.  It is hard for me not to hop into the car and take you your things and just give up on us. My head keeps saying I should do that... My heart says wait it out.  If you're not here  New Year's Eve, my head will win.  I will give up, because what man in love does not spend New Year's Eve with the woman he loves?  The funny thing is I have 2 men waiting.... They hope we don't work out and that they get a chance..... Hmmmm

I Thought of You Today

When I was younger there was a guy I was madly in love with.  He traveled a lot so I began writing a diary to him everyday.  At some point in the relationship I sent them to him.   I don't know if he ever read them but it made me feel better.  Right now I need to do that again.....  I met the man I want to spend the rest of my life with but due to his past relationships he is extremely hesitant almost like he doesn't trust me.  I have taken a step back.. and though it is killing me not to talk to him I know it is what needs to be done.  Give him his space and let him work through whatever it is that he is going through.  My heart and my head are having their usual battle... the head says, if a man loves you he would do whatever it takes to be with you.  What man that is in love with a woman goes a whole month without seeing her?.....  My heart says, he is confused and scared and just needs time.  I have many friends that side with my head ....no one agrees with my heart.  This sucks.   Miss "I am going to stay single forever" finds someone she actually wants to spend the rest of her life with and he is acting like a frightened child afraid to leave his mama. Where does one go from here?

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Spring cleaning

So my mom proceeded to insult my housekeeping skills yesterday. Granted my house is messier than what hers were as a kid; but I was her housekeeper. I hated cleaning house then and I hate it now. She is right in that I should keep up with the dog hair but Zoey sheds like no dog I have ever seen. Well today I decided to tackle cleaning. An hour end my back started killing me.....I foresee this becoming a weekend thing.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Observations from Dinner

So I skipped lunch today and decided to eat a "healthy" earlier dinner. I ended up eating with the older crowd at our local cafeteria. I was one of the first 6 in line.... isn't that sad??? Anyway I listen to them talk about who has cancer and how they had to cut the trash service to save and extra $40 every 3 months.... I start to wonder what people my age will be talking about in our 70's and 80's.... I go to leave and this man stops me... He is probably in his late 70's early 80's... he says "Please don't go"... so I stop and talk to him for a few minutes... his first question: "where's your husband?".... my response "what do I need one of those for"? I don't think he understood my response. So then he asked if i lived in town. I told him "no, just outside of it". He told me he knew the town well. He asked if I lived alone.. I answered yes. He said he did too. I told him I liked it that way, he replied "yes it has it's niceness but it would be better with a partner". I smiled and told him to have a nice day. I imagine that is a routine for him... go have dinner with other town folk hoping to meet someone and have someone to talk to. My heart went out to him, it made me think of my grandfather and what our relationship would have been like if he would have lived longer. I often wonder what it is going to be like when I get older. No kids and my dog sure can't take care of me. I pray my retirement is good and that I won't have to cut garbage out of my life just to afford to eat.